I decided I was unavailable for anything less than the most up-to-date installation of soul.

To be clear:

I decided this a long time ago.

And also?

I decided again this week.

On the daily, in fact.

And what came through in full effect today?

Well…

It was something I already knew {of course}.

But I hadn’t fully backed it energetically because I didn’t trust it.

Which really means that I didn’t trust myself.

To be able to hold it. To be able to have it.

Not doubt about being able to experience it in general.

I already fully knew and believed in that.

Rather, to be able to experience it right NOW in the way that I ACTUALLY desired it.

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Part of this desiring?

Complete and utter spaciousness around The Refugee Soul:Ship.

Which I wasn’t giving myself.

The magic of the offering came through in some holy-fuck-me BIG ways that I knew were coming…

But I didn’t fully trust myself in it all, so I fell back on old habits.

Quick and dirty.

Masculine. Completion. Let’s fucking goooooo.

Nothing wrong with this.

I love that shit.

And…

It simply isn’t the way I want to invoke this particular medicine.

And so, within it all, I could feel the mystery coaxing me to open.

Even more.

Into the majesty of the fecundity of the revolution of the thing.

And today, I laid myself down upon the altar of soul…

And let go.

So…

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The Refugee Soul:Ship will sail in November, instead of September.

The interest list is open, if you know a spot is yours.

I have so much more to share, but for now I will leave you with this:

You already know what you want.

You have already been shown the next step {and likely a few steps beyond that}.

But if you don’t THINK you know…

If you’re feeling confused with all the choices and possibilities of the thing…

I invite you to slow down and drop into the sensations around it all.

For a moment. For an hour.

Doesn’t matter.

Just become so exquisitely slow that you can feel the beating of the heart of the universe in each inhale and each exhale.

And simply listen.

Notice what your trauma and drama throw at you.

Notice where you balk and roll your eyes.

Notice where you skate over what you receive because you don’t yet believe.

And then become even slower.

Remember that you are the stillness as the stillness is you.

And you will find yourself there.

You will meet yourself there.

And you will remember.

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As always…

Here’s to your untaming,

N

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P.S.:

I wanted to share this piece from my journaling the other day:

It’s not that we now have too many options.

It’s that our bodies have historically been denied the freedom to choose.

We have been conditioned not to trust ourselves to be able to commit to a choice without fearing catastrophic ramifications in the aftermath OF that choice.

So when it comes down to having infinite choice {as the expressions of God that we are}, our somatic memories balk at the idea and throw out all the things at us:

➟ How could this be safe?

➟ We don’t know what to do!

➟ We need someone to tell us how to proceed…

➟ Do we need caution or do we need abandon?

➟ Helllllppppppp!

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But, within this lies the magic of getting to experience yourself coming home to the sovereign reality of that which you are.

You get to choose, here and now, that you are trustworthy with the greatest decisions ever:

To say yes and surrender to soul.

To open your thighs and free fall into your everything.

And, of course of course…

To remember who the fuck you are.

Awwwww yeahhhhh…