And what if it was truly only and ever about you showing up to the magic?

Not how to show up.

Not the perfect time to show up.

But, wholly and simply, THAT you show up.

What if there were no longer any reasons why you couldn’t?

And no longer any feelings about the matter at hand…

What then?

Sometimes, we can get so caught up in the IDEA of who we must become, that we never get around to actually becoming it.

And, sometimes, the idea of it all can be a shield we don, so that we never have to feel the disappointment of what might never come to be for us.

A weapon and shelter against the unbearable pain of:

➟ What if it doesn’t work?

➟ What if I’m not who I thought I was?

➟ What if I never get to experience myself the way I feel and see and know inside?

And, of course of course…

➟ What if I was wrong all along?

⠀

And so we hem and we haw.

We hesitate on what we know is for us.

And we wait.

For the day.

For SOMEday.

When we can fully trust the magic.

When we ourselves can be fully trusted WITH the magic.

Because underneath it all, that’s the fear, isn’t it?

That, no matter how hard we try, we can never be trusted with the limitless power and medicine imbued upon our souls.

That we, no matter how much growth and inquiry we embody and sit with, will never be able to handle our own selves.

And, as such, could never BE handled by the world.

And so, again, we wait.

And we wait some more.

Hoping for the day when we will be safe for consumption.

When we will be safe for viewing.

When we will be safe. Period.

⠀

⠀

But what happens to us in the waiting?

What happens to the world WHILE we’re waiting?

We burn.

It.

Burns.

And those who give zero fucks about the liberation of the oppressed just keep on fucking us all over.

And we keep silencing ourselves.

And our medicine keeps dying on the vine.

But… BUT…

Nothing ever really dies, you know?

It simply becomes transformed.

Sometimes, from form back to formlessness.

Sometimes, from one physical state to another.

Or one energetic state to another.

And this transmutation offers us an invitation.

Into the Wild and the Deep.

An invitation back, should we allow it, unto ourselves.

Unto God manifest as us.

And maybe this is that invitation for you.

A medicine portal back to your own sacred and holyfied return.

To all you ever were.

To all you hoped you could be.

An awakened and revelatory dance within the primordial void and mystery becoming evoked by, through, for, and as…

You.

⠀

And if this were such a moment?

What would you fully and completely allow it to be for?

If there was nothing else to figure out.

If there was no longer any reason to hesitate.

If the world {and your soul} were only going to keep burning the longer you swallow down your magic and truth.

What… when it’s all said and done… would you allow this moment to be FOR?

Yeah.

That.

And now?

You become the embodied and wild yes to that which you KNOW you’ve been shown.

Every day.

And twice on Sunday.

I’ll see you at the crossroads.

⠀

As always…

Here’s to your untaming,

N

⠀

⠀

P.S.:

I know, I know.

It’s been a minute.

I needed some spaciousness throughout all the things that surround death and family and health and elderhood and grieving.

And everything betwixt and between.

I’ve been watching a lot of Ethan Hawke speaking to pretentiousness and creativity and the craft.

{I watch these… amongst other dope soul shit… throughout the year, regardless.}

And I’ve been diving into the politics of the supposed unpolitic.

And I’ve been raging and crying and grieving the ethnic cleansing and genocide and atrocities in Palestine, Congo, Sudan…

⠀

And I’ve been leaning into what I am called to DO with it all.

Who I am called to BE within and as it all.

And a few offerings keep telling me it’s time.

I’ve said nah.

I’ve prayed for a parlay.

I’ve said this couldn’t possibly be the time…

And they all just took a breath.

And then called again.

Howled again.

Thrummed again.

And so.

⠀

Here we are.

At the threshold of the erotic and the sacred and the damned.

Of the primal and the profane.

Of you.

And me.

Together once again.

And so…

1/11

The EAE is coming.

For the Melanated Medicine Kin who are ready to finally meet the totality of themselves within the creative and spiritual veil.

This is like nothing {NOTHING} you have ever before experienced.

But, it’s time.

So…

Watch this space.

‍