Yesterday was scary AF {family health wise}.

Not getting into deets, but suffice to say it sliced open a much needed rift through my quest of “getting back to normal”.

I kept trying, you know?

To grasp some semblance of normality with my art, my practice, myself.

But, it just wasn’t THERE.

And I’ve been forcing things.

Trying to use old ways to initiate new beginnings.

But that shit doesn’t work anymore.

{It never really did.}

⠀

Case in point:

I scheduled a new live workshop for this weekend.

But, my nervous system simply isn’t there yet.

I can’t hold the space I want to hold for you.

{Some days, I can’t even hold it for myself.}

And so after yesterday’s scare, I’ve been in prayer.

Because where else do you go, when there’s nowhere TO go?

And I’ve been asking how to keep my word and how to honor the magic… while at the same time feeling like I have no capacity to keep anything at all?

Because I’m also, plain and simply, ready.

To be back with you.

To be back with myself.

But what’s coming through from God is that while I’ve been trying to come back to what WAS…

It’s time has come and gone.

That ME has come and gone.

And so, I can’t show up to something that is no longer for me.

Something that is, therefore, no longer for YOU.

⠀

I used to love live programs.

I used to love offering them frequently.

I used to love 3-5 hour workshops and multi day/week immersions.

Because that’s where I was.

That’s where the magic was through and as me.

And there will, of course, still be more live programs and events.

But that time is not now.

Now is the time for excavation and wonder and mystery and a dying to soul that I’ve been initiating through for years.

And I am reminded, yet again, that honoring my word IS honoring soul.

It’s honoring God as me.

And right now, that honoring is simply not live programs.

But, it is a sacred and primordial return.

To this.

To writing.

To magic making and mayhem and madness and bones.

It is a return to us in revolutionary spaciousness, abundance, and the Wilds.

Together.

But, it looks different.

Because I am different.

And, I suspect, if you are with me…

So are you.

⠀

It can take a while for soul evolutions to calibrate in our systems.

For our bodies and minds to understand on somatic and interoceptive levels, that which the Creator has awakened within us {and FOR us}.

And so, if you’ve been in an initiation these past few years, and have no idea how to allow it through into your physical reality and actually HOLD it in your body…

Maybe it’s because you are trying to fit the vastness of infinite potentiality into a temporal vessel whose time has come {and gone}.

And maybe, just maybe, it’s time to take a deeper look at your “how”.

Meaning:

How you show up to the magic…

And how you allow it to show up through, for, and as you.

Because if we are still trying to fit tomorrow’s medicine into yesterday’s form, we will continue butting up against the constructs of our own making.

And we will continue disappointing ourselves {and maybe others}.

And, within that encoded habituation, we will continue to find ourselves wanting.

Which means we will inevitably try to make up for the unsteadiness we’re feeling within our magic with dis-embodied effort and action.

Continuing on a path well worn, but that is no longer well aligned.

And since it’s hard to trust ourselves or our magic when we aren’t allowing that magic to actually come through, we just keep believing that there’s one more thing that needs to happen BEFORE we can say yes.

Before we can leap and free fall into the void.

Before we can actualize into the next evolution of that which Is, as us.

⠀

But there’s another way.

{There's always another way.}

I’m choosing that way now.

And I’m inviting you to choose it with me.

So…

⠀

⠀

Handled is still coming in hot.

But it’s coming in its next evolution and form.

It will unfold as a 5 day initiation into the depths of self trust, rooted and rebirthed through God trust.

It’s going even deeper than I could even comprehend a few days ago, because it has been revealed in a way I didn’t see coming.

I had to surrender deeper {and trust like mad} to even have the lens through which I could see its transmission.

And then… there it was.

Like it had always been there and was just waiting for me to show up to it…

Like it was waiting for me to show up to myself.

And so, I am.

And I’m holding some sacred and potent AF space for you to do the same.

But, only if you’re ready for this level of energetic shapeshifting within identity, psyche, and soul.

If so…

If you know beyond knowing that you are being called into the next evolution of the medicine portal-ing its way through your body, breath, blood, and bones…

You can learn more and join me here with a single upfront payment or payment plan here.

Also, we’ll still be doing a live Q&A and ceremony together in the coming months.

I’ll email everyone enrolled beforehand, in case you want to attend live.

{You’ll have lifetime access regardless, plus access to any future updates.}

And just a heads up:

The price will increase to $333 on Monday, September 25th and then to $888 next Saturday the 30th.

So, if you’re with us, grab your spot now.

⠀

As always…

Here’s to your untaming,

N

⠀

P.S.:

If you are enrolled in The Goddess Series and/or Decision Point, there’s nothing you need to do.

Handled will be automatically added into your account as soon as the {Pre}Calibration Medicine drops this weekend.

⠀

P.P.S.:

I made you a potent AF activation and meditation.

You can find it on the Handled invitation page.

And trust…

You’re gonna want to drop in with this medicine stat. 😮‍💨

‍