Sometimes it can feel almost impossible to move forward.

Because it feels like we are moving in place.

Running ourselves into the seemingly uninhabitable ground of our own body.

Thrashing our limbs within an inexhaustible void of words left unsaid.

And who are we to BE when the being has brought us here?

Again.

Into a place that looks almost like right.

That tastes almost of memories.

That smells almost like home.

Who are we to BE…

When we’ve been here before.

When we’ve walked this land.

When we’ve seen how this play plays out (and, it seems, plays US).

And what if the “who” we are seeking to be is the same one that has brought us here?

Again.

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How would we move on from here, when it seems that here IS us?

Well.

What if, WHAT IF, instead of asking who we are to become…

We ask ourselves who we have forgotten we already are.

Breathe with that for a moment.

Who have you forgotten you already… are?

Inherently.

Beautifully.

Innately.

Immutably.

Wholly.

What would you no longer leave unsaid?

What magic would pierce you and weave you and awaken you?

What would you allow this moment to be for…

If you simply remembered what you have forgotten?

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When I was a kid, maybe nine or so, we were out on the playground spinning around the bar without hands.

You know, where you’re sitting on the bar and you grip it with your legs and spin underneath it and back to the top… without your hands?

Yeah. That.

Anyway, I’d done it before.

But this one day… I fell.

I don’t know what happened.

Just that one moment we were laughing and I was spinning and then in the next moment…

I wasn’t.

I fell onto the top of my head from upside down, mid spin.

And I remember panic and I remember silence.

Someone got my basketball coach and there were people running.

So much running.

But I remember she was calm.

I’m sure she was semi panicked on the inside, but she was calm for me.

And I don’t know if I cried or really what my body was doing at all.

But, it was one of many moments where I was just looking out of my body and realizing, yet again, that it {my body} wasn’t me.

All these people were around my body and I think I was talking WITH my body…

But I was acutely aware that all of it was happening to my body and not to ME.

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I’ve always had these moments, this awareness.

As a kid though, once I realized that most people weren’t walking around completely and utterly freaked the fuck out that they had a body, I learned to not talk about the awareness.

I just went through every day halfway freaked and halfway pissed and halfway sad that I was “stuck” in this body.

I felt trapped by this physical form.

Because I knew it wasn’t ME.

Ah, we should note that I was overall okay and sustained no c-spine injury at all during the fall!

A miraculous, God, divine FALLING.

It was, I suppose, simply a kairotic moment of Seeing.

Of remembering.

That no matter what our body is doing or what is happening around our body…

We are still NOT our body.

Our body is simply a home for that which we Are.

{And no, this does not diminish or negate atrocities that happen to or around our bodies… like the complete and utter devastation happening right now in Congo, Palestine, Sudan, and more. Because more than one thing can be true at the same time. Which is where many get this whole consciousness and humanity thing fucked up.}

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Maybe this is one of your pathways of remembrance today?

That your body, your mind, your beliefs, your thoughts…

They are not YOU.

They are manifestations of you, yes.

They are experiences for and of you, yes.

But they are not {and CANNOT} encapsulate the totality of you.

We must not identify AS them, though.

Because the only thing it will do is bring us to the same “here” to which we have always seemed to return.

I mean, of course of course, do whatever the fuck you wanna do.

And, also?

If the “here” within which you currently find yourself seems like the same “here” you ALWAYS find yourself…

Maybe it’s time for something new, yeah?

Something ancient and something new.

That new ancient shit.

That primordial wisdom and presencing being made manifest as you.

Maybe it’s to remember who you have forgotten.

{No head trauma required, of course!!}

So…

Who and what will you remember yourself as today?

Let me know what comes through for you.

It’s likely your portal from the “here” where you’ve been to the here of the holy and {re}pussified NOW.

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As always…

Here’s to your untaming,

N

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When the magic and medicine of soul are howling… and you’re ready to become your own yes… here’s how I can help:

𓆃 Join our free activation channel, Rising Tide, here.

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𓆃 Say what needs to be said, go (and stay) all in on your everything, and become the one you’ve been waiting for inside my {re}wilding grounds community for Melanated Kin, The Erotic Abolitionism™ Experience, here.

𓆃 Enroll in the primordial bones of my body of work, Erotic Abolitionism™ Foundations, here.

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