What’s the use of money if you ain’t gonna break the mold

 
Everybody wants to sell what’s already been sold
Everybody wants to tell what’s already been told
What’s the use of money
If you ain’t gonna break the mold
Even at the center of the fire, there is cold
And all that glitters ain’t gold
— Prince, "Gold"

There’s this idea that in order to have the intimacy we want, that we have to go about it in the same way as everyone else.

But, I mean… How’s that working for you?

I can tell you it sure as shit isn’t working for me.

Never has.

I’ve had amazing love and sex and fun and orgasms in my life.

...And I’ve had so-so intimacy.

Sure, there were times where I fully dropped in and trusted and let go…

But on the whole?

I’d say my intimacy “legacy” has been found... wanting.

I’m a powerhouse of a woman, for which I make no apologies and give zero fucks.

But, the “caveat” here, if you will…

Is that I have also done decades of work on my own shit.

And so I’m able to recognize that I’ve always {always} had one foot out the door before any relationship even began.

The crazy thing here?

Part of me is still completely good with that.

Why? Well, let’s unpack that.

With one foot out the door, I know I’ll always be good, no matter what.

I have 100% trust in my own capacity to thrive sexually and lovingly regardless of how any relationship goes.

I am so fucking sovereign in who I am {in most things, but most especially in sex, love, and creative expression} that I know beyond knowing that I will not collapse into a sobbing mess for 2 years because a relationship ends.

I just won’t.

It doesn’t mean the sex wasn’t amazing.

It doesn’t mean the love wasn’t beautiful and soul-shaking.

But…

It does mean that I get to enter into any relationship without the fear of who I’ll become if it ends.

Which I cherish.

So, that sovereignty?

I’m in no way, shape, or form willing to give that up.

But… {another caveat, right}...

I am finally {gulp, gasp, holy shit} willing to ALSO go so fucking deep into intimacy and connection with a lover... that we see GOD.

I had a session with a gorgeous soul {I was the one being coached} and she helped reflect back to me that my… let’s call it Chronic Intimacy Avoidance {C. I. A., bwaaaa}... was holding me back from full creativity and impact… and sexual pleasure.

Which I knew, of course. I’ve done my work, remember? Probably just like you’ve done yours...

But, sometimes something… expands in you when it’s reflected back from a trusted outside source.

You’re able to hear it differently and you integrate it in different spaces within your body.

And sometimes that’s the one thing needed for a blow-your-soul-wide-open shift.

Prince once asked us {in the song at the top of this article} to reflect on the following:

What's the use of money if you ain't gonna break the mold?

I’m going to extend that to creativity, impact, and intimacy.

As in, what’s the fucking POINT in any of it if you’re just going to keep going about it with the same ole’, same ole’, “business as usual” BS?

What’s the POINT if you are going to stay so attached to your old stories and wounds that you never actually allow yourself to be free?

Free to feel all the things.

In ways that you’ve never even imagined.

Or maybe you have.

But you simply won’t let GO enough to experience them in your life.

Creators.

We. Are. Creators.

So what do you think might be possible if we consciously defined and co-created a new ecology of intimacy within our own bodies?

And from there, became exquisitely wild and free in the way we create and share that creativity with the world?

Yeah.

This is what we’ll be unraveling in the inaugural April issue of my new program for Creators, called Body of Work.

I’m opening up the doors for presale soon.

You’ll be able to enroll throughout March and the issue will close on March 31st.

If you’re not enrolled by then, you will not be able to access this issue.

Just fair warning, and all that orgasmic jazz.

 

Loving you,

Nikka “The ‘Prince’ of Intimacy” Karli

Nikka Karli