On my deathbed by the age of five...

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I’m not sure how many times my throat almost closed off when I was a kid.

Maybe 4 times? 5?

I blocked it out of my mind.

I remember things around the instances...

But the bouts of anaphylaxis? The seizures? The list of rules I had to go everywhere with, so my friends, school, and coaches didn’t accidentally kill me?

Those my little mind couldn’t hold.

And so she {my inner child’s mind} shut them out and carried on.

My mom and grandma were rockstars. They made sure I had the normalist childhood I could, in spite of the health stuff.

In fact, the health stuff became par for the course, just another daily addition to how we lived our lives.

Except…

They were traumatic experiences.

And like all traumatic experiences, just because we push them out of our minds and “soldier on”, doesn’t mean they’re actually gone.

They take root somewhere else.

And that somewhere else is in our body.

I don’t talk about my medical shit all that much, not in my blogs or interviews or videos.

But it’s always been there, under the surface.

Really, I always thought trauma had to fit into a pretty little box of what could be considered “trauma”.

Very specific atrocities, and nothing more.

So when I carried on and ignored the trauma reactions my body was having throughout my entire life, I just thought it was normal stuff.

I thought I couldn’t possibly be having a traumatic trigger, because I didn’t consider these childhood things traumatic.

We do that, sometimes...

Believe that if we tell ourselves something is “fine”, that it is, in fact, fine.

But our body will tell a different story.

Our body holds our memories, she holds our disrupted pain cycles, she holds it all.

That is, until we are able to complete the stress or trauma cycle and discharge the energy and pain from our body-mind, in a way that helps us alchemize it through our body and into the work we are here to do in this world.

Which is a whole ‘nuther topic, too long to dive into here.

So I’m covering it on page one of Body of Work: The April Issue… And threading it through the Sensual Seduction movement practice as well.

And I’ll tell you why:

We cannot produce our greatest work if we are battling old traumas and memories that are buried under the surface of our skin.

Pain that has yet to complete its cycle will forever run our lives… our art… our sex… and our connection with God.

We must remember how to {Re}Wild our senses and our capacity for resourcing our own healing...

And it begins in our body.

Just a reminder, The April Issue “goes to bed” at the end of this month.

Meaning, the last day to enroll and get access to this issue is March 31.

You can see if this is a fuck yes for your soul here.

Message me with any questions here.

Loving you,

N

Nikka Karli