It's Not About the Muffin
So, I like muffins. How about you? Yummy, scrumptious, crumbly… Makes you feel all warm and cozy inside. Sounds like a fab way to spend an afternoon, right? To feel all nice and content? Well, sure. If what you really wanted was just a muffin…
I was talking with some of my beautiful yoga students the other week about the difference between feeding our BODIES and feeding our EMOTIONS. The difference between eating (or behaving) in such a way that we ENHANCE our lives rather than DIMINISH them. Time and again we believe that a craving is coming from our body, when in actuality the craving stems from our current emotional state. So often, what we desire is not something that is going to nourish us, strengthen our body, or feed our soul.
In order to live a fulfilled life, one where we are not slaves to our present emotional state, we must first begin to learn the difference between an emotional craving and actually being hungry.
I don’t know about you, love, but I’d rather be hungry for life than for a muffin.
Have you ever wondered why some women seem to have it all together? How they appear to always be happy, glowing, and ON FIRE with their lives? Maybe, just maybe, you thought that there had to be some crazy insider secret that no one had shared with you. Or, maybe you rationalized to yourself that they were just putting on appearances and couldn’t possibly be that freakin’ blissed out (I mean come on, did you see how she was staring into her boyfriend’s eyes, all moony and everything? Seriously, who is she fooling?). Sound like you might have had a thought or two like that in the past? Hmmm??
While talking to my amazing students, I shared with them that although people truly believe that what they are craving is the muffin, the pizza, the entire pint of ice cream… it just ain’t so! Say, what? It’s true, my friend, it’s so very true.
It really has NOTHING to do with the actual muffin!
Sure, the muffin tastes good. Sure doing some risky behavior for a moment of joy can be exhilarating. However, when we find ourselves craving something or addicted to something that no longer serves us (food, sex, alcohol, attention, risky behavior), it is frequently because we are seeking pleasure. And, why do we see pleasure in food, sex, alcohol, etc? Because we are missing pleasure in the rest of our lives.
We run around from work, to school, to carting the kiddos around to events, to cooking, to cleaning the house, to the charity we support, to….. I’m tired just writing it! And, do we stop to enjoy our day? To cultivate a practice of self-care that nourishes us? To tell our love partner how much we adore them? Nope. Because, come on, look at that schedule! We pack our day with so many “busy” things to keep us from feeling. To keep us from sitting with our emotions. To cover up anger, loneliness, sadness, depression, self-doubt.
We’re running around on empty, wondering why we seek fulfillment in things that deplete us even further. (Tweet it, babe!)
We, as human beings, seek pleasure. We love feeling good, and happy, and content, and safe. We LOVE feeling loved. So, when we are missing that nourishing, delicious pleasure in our relationships, with ourselves, with our bodies, we seek it elsewhere. We develop emotional attachments to food. To anonymous sex partners. To drugs. We seek unhealthy or inappropriate attention (ie: having to be the center of attention in every conversation, putting down other people to make ourselves feel important, etc), at the cost of our own happiness and the happiness of those around us.
So, how do we begin to live each day with such pleasure that we no longer seek fulfillment from “things” and external sources rather than from within our own soul? We begin to cultivate beautiful relationships with our family. We find community. We fall in love with our bodies. We create a satisfying, trusting love relationship with our partner. We explore activities that bring us radiant, delicious joy (surfing, yoga, dance, painting, writing, photography). We exude gratitude, compassion, and understanding in each aspect of our lives.
We live to love and love to live.
How are you inviting more love, more abundance, and more bliss into your life? I’d love to hear from you!