Apathy at Being Human & Calling yourself on Your Shit


It's been awhile.

Since I've sat down to this keyboard in any capacity that could officially be called "getting my butt in the chair".


I've been writing, but not WRITING.

I've been connecting but not CONNECTING.

And I've been here but not really HERE.


It comes and goes, these waves of energetic apathy at being human.


I've always just thought it was par for the course, being an Indigo.


But I've come to realize- for the first time ever, really- that it's still a choice.


Yes, I have archetypal patterns that I came here with.


And yes, it requires quite a bit of reconditioning to challenge the parts of those patterns that are ineffective and not serving my highest.


...But it's still a choice.


To live in the SHADOW of my archetypes or to unleash the full power of my LIGHT.


We can go for so long just existing... Our lives feeling like we're in a vat of molasses.


Do you run? Or play sports? Then you know the feeling of molasses.

The feeling of quicksand.


It's like you're exerting all this effort but not getting anywhere.


You've trained, you've put in all this TIME and EFFORT but then there's this MOMENT that happens...


This period of doubt and fear.


...Because your legs have stopped working.


...Your lungs have forgotten how to function.


...Your mind is telling you that this is it, there's nothing else you can do but succumb.




Go home.


As some of the great yogis and healers would say...




We practice so that when we're in the molasses, in the quicksand, we don't sink... We rise.


We call on the rituals and the resilience born of years of practice.


We know that this is just a moment and that it, like all moments, will pass.


We understand on the intrinsic level that rides our bones that we will not go quietly into that good night.

...We will rage.

...We will fight.

...We will live to fight another day.

{Just to mix up all kinds of literary references for ya 😉 }


There comes a time when you will have to call on your training, to rely on your practice to see you through.


So what help will you receive from YOUR practice?

...What guidance will be there for you?

...What resilience will be born from who you have been BEING every day?


Because the practice, the training, is not what you do when you're on stage... when it's game day... when everyone is watching...


The practice is who you make the EMBODIED COMMITMENT  to BEING behind the scenes.


On the daily basis.


In the shadows AND in the light.


When it's going sooooooooo good your soul could weep from ecstasy.

...And when you're in the pit of a dark soul of night and you're hiding under the covers, crying for your mommy.


So, what will you have in your Soul Arsenal when the shit hits the fan and your legs turn into molasses and your mind is cloudy and your lungs are filling with quicksand with every breath?


If you're like uhhhhhh, well..... I'll get back to my soul work and body practices and self care when everything falls into place...


You've got another thing coming.



Because this SOUL work is THE work that will open you to everything "falling into place".


Things fall into place when there is fertile ground that will allow them to grow and flourish.


Things fall into place when you've done the internal WORK and have been taking the external, EMBODIED action with consistency.


Things fall into place when you have the practices and the training to support you when the sky opens up and rains down all kinds of situations and people to test your resolve and ensure that you're READY for things to "fall into place".




How is that practice coming along?



Loving you,

N 🐾🌙


#stalkingthemoon #musingsfromthewild #sexmagicwoman



And if you read this, got triggered, came back to yourself, took a breath, dropped into your body, and said fuuuuuuckkkkk... I need some of this in my life like right meow, PM me here.

Nikka Karli